#Zeroresponse to Cyberbullying

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#Zeroresponse to Cyberbullying

#Zeroresponse to Cyberbullying

The only way to stop cyberbullying is too not ‘buy-in’ to it’s damaging trap. The perfect use of a powerful hashtag!

The only necessary response? #zeroresponse

 

Accept Me
 

Kim

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It Takes a Village

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It Takes a Village

First, An Excerpt

First, an excerpt from a story I wrote a few years ago – bare with me, it has meaning.

Side bar... I wash my sheets when I’m drowning in stress.

 

“I know a little about a lot of things and a lot about teeth. It’s okay that I only know a lot about teeth and not ALL about teeth, because the ones that have ALL the toothy wisdom wash their sheets way more than me. Most tooth Dr.’s are troubled.

My theory is: if I went to school for 8+ years and could only save a tooth, I would be troubled too. I’m a Certified Dental Assistant. I am happy with my career choice, a compassionate team player in a hyper stressful job. My day usually starts with an “I hate dentists” greeting by my patients.

I respond with, “Oh, you meant to say you hate den-tis-try,” and I watch some of their fears ebb away with my idle chit-chat. This dance I do two days a week with at least half of my patients, and it never gets boring; it just seems necessary to point out that I am not the bad guy. Thinking the opposite would send me straight down the detergent isle. A little dyslectic vein runs through some of my work, but overall I’m quite confident in my part-time abilities. I never have to do laundry after a nine hour shift”.

Practicing Self Acceptance

For many years I have wanted to be part of something other than dentistry. Don’t get me wrong, I love your imperfect mouths, and I still practice voluntarily in different parts of the globe with talented, devoted, like-minded people. But I have always wanted to build something of my own, create something, hell, dare I say it, even run something! But a gut full of low self esteem and lot of ‘I’m not smart enough’ always got in my way.

But slowly, as I began to practice self acceptance and changed my mental tape, I realized that I’m pretty damn smart, and my perception about my non-dental abilities began to change.

One of the biggest things that kept me from moving forward with gusto was computer technology. Lack of technology is something that can cripple you in today’s business world, and let me tell you, I posses the bare minimum of this techy trade. But the more I thought about how debilitating this was going to be for me, the more I kept thinking about my dental roots. Yes, pun intended!

Rewriting the Story

So I decided to rewrite the beginning of that tooth story so that I can apply it to the Accept Me movement. It goes something like this...

I know a lot about teeth and a LITTLE about technology, it’s ok that I only know a LITTLE about technology, because I can employ amazing talented young minds that can provide and help me with technology. I never have to do laundry after a nine-hour Accept Me shift.

I have unfortunately worked with a couple of unpleasant dentists. But, I have also had the extreme privilege to work with a few incredibly gifted and kind dental artists. I choose the latter. These fine men and women understand the concept of It Takes a Village. They get the value of ‘the strength of the team.’ They put their ego’s underneath their paper PHD’s, and their villages flourish because of their leadership and care. More than anything, I knew I wanted to lead by their example.

So really, this is a long-winded thank you letter to my village. The fabulous talented group of young women that grabbed my brand and movement by the short and curly’s, and have helped me run with it. These women are fierce, bright, and above all, patient with me. And for what they lack in years on this planet, they make up for in unbridled talent. I could not have gotten Accept Me off the ground without them, and ego aside, I am more than happy to share my success with them.

Let’s always remember to thank the villagers of our tribe. Appreciation, acceptance and kindness go a very long way.

To those of you in my hut, I thank you.

Gabrielle
Alexa
Amber

and Chantel, who helped me change my mental tape (and you don’t even know it).

Accept Me,
Kim

 

 

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A Gift from the Syrian Refugees

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A Gift from the Syrian Refugees

Receiving a Gift, Jan. 21/16

It all started with small brown paper gift bags. Plain, recycled, planet friendly, millennium trendy, brown paper gift bags. You know the one’s I’m talking about. And these little bags were packed lovingly, by plain, recycled, planet friendly, millennium trendy individuals. Regular people like you and me. 

But on this day, the receivers of these gifts were not responding how I imagined they would. My first thought was perhaps they had never seen trendy brown bags before. This was possible, and highly probable given their circumstances. I watched and observed while the 75 bags were handed out one by one. Some were smiling, some appeared bashful, others kept their heads down, and one little boy buried his face into someone I could only assume would be his father, who was wearing a very colourful thick fabric coat. Draped with that fabric, was the man that hooked my eyes.

Saying 'I Accept You'

I will never know his name, and I’m unsure now of its importance, but I will never forget his eyes. They were blackish brown, deeply set, sadly beautiful, and they did not move. He sat composed in his stiff plastic chair and stared at me. Never blinking, his shift never wavering. And it was oddly haunting. Yet strangely, an unspoken understanding passed between us in that short moment. Telepathically perhaps; I could feel his weary sense of relief and extreme gratitude as he looked me. I was about to say a few words to the strangers in this room, so in keeping with a public speaking rule, ‘you should pick one person to direct your message to’, I looked straight back at him and said, “Welcome to Canada, I Accept You.” 

A Moment with the Refugees

These are the Syrian refugees. Fresh off a plane landing into Vancouver BC. Whisked through immigration and plunked into the ‘Welcome’ House at the Immigrant Services Society’s arms. 

Luckily for me, I was granted entry to meet these fragile people. I came with my expectations and my mother earth gift bags, but what I experienced was absolutely not what I expected. 

What impacted me most was how calm the room was. I imagined slight hysteria and a lot of tears and commotion. But what I saw was extraordinary people, waiting for extra-ordinary instructions. All of this was happening at lightning speed, as there is a ‘no exploitation’ rule in effect, and my time with these guests was extremely limited. Fair enough!! 

But within those fleeting minutes I took stock in the room, and the whole time I was present, I could feel those eyes fixated on me. Those eyes that spoke nothing, but whispered everything. Collectively, echoing all around this refugee greeting room, was the universal language of thank you, grace and hope. 

Acceptance Over Gift Bags

It was at that moment that I received my gift. It came unpackaged, not trendy, no swanky gift card attached. Instead, it was a clear, unshakable understanding of our shared humanity. 

The concrete affirmation that we are all deserving of love and belonging, no matter who we are, how we look, whom we love, or what we believe. 

The brown gift bags sat beside their chairs, unnoticed. In my ignorance and innocence, I thought that gifts would be some sort of a welcome offering, like this insignificant bag would ease the loss and suffering they have endured. 

But instead I learned, that the greatest gift of all was much simpler. I accepted them. 

With gratitude to the Immigration Services Society, 

Accept Me

Kim Radons 

 

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WE ARE AFTER ALL, EVERYDAY PEOPLE

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WE ARE AFTER ALL, EVERYDAY PEOPLE

Sly, you’re one cool cat…

EVERYDAY PEOPLE

Sometimes I'm right and I can be wrong

My own beliefs are in my song

The butcher, the banker, the drummer and then

Makes no difference what group I'm in

 

I am everyday people, yeah yeah

 

There is a blue one who can't accept the green one

For living with a fat one trying to be a skinny one

And different strokes for different folks

And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo

 

Oh sha sha we got to live together

 

I am no better and neither are you

We are the same whatever we do

You love me you hate me you know me and then

You can't figure out the bag I'm in

 

I am everyday people, yeah yeah

 

There is a long hair that doesn't like the short hair

For bein' such a rich one that will not help the poor one

And different strokes for different folks

And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo

 

Oh sha sha we got to live together

 

There is a yellow one that won't accept the black one

That won't accept the red one that won't accept the white one

And different strokes for different folks

And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo

 

I am everyday people

 

THE SLY STORY

In the late 60’s, Sly and the Family Stone released their single "Everyday People", which became their first #1 hit. "Everyday People" was a protest against prejudice of all kinds, and popularized the catchphrase "Different Strokes For Different Folks”. The global history influencing, and surrounding this song’s release, will not be surprising to some, but will be informative to many. The turmoil of the 60’s brought us, the death of Dr. Martin Luther King, the assassination of President John F Kennedy, the escalation and halt of the Vietnam war, and the awakening of the counterculture movement. There was much to write about during this decade, and these were just some of the important headlines of this time.

 

So now in 2015, (and this decade), what will we leave our beneficiaries to read?

 

My guess is that terrorist headlines will be front and centre in our SEO searches, followed closely by sub headings containing the words “mass exodus,” “deadly racist attacks,” and the always present “war and religion.”

All of this neatly edited together, with misleading media reels that tend to influence network biases onto the public.

I don’t think I need to expand on this further, you get the picture. Unfortunately, there will always be some bad (people) in our world, and I in no way condone their choices or accept radical ideology or brutality. But, I am consciously making a choice to focus on the good, the good in people. I have to believe in this; humanity relies on it!

I will ask you to read Sly’s lyrics one more time, close your eye’s, pause, and make a wish.  A wish for peace, for unconditional acceptance of one another, and for the true meaning of humanity to be shared, by everyday people.

Have a listen to Every Day People, by Sly and The Family Stone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JvkaUvB-ec

 

Accept Me

Kim

 

 When the universe screams at us, we gotta listen.

 

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A Fevered Urgency

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A Fevered Urgency

I remember it vividly. Sitting in my scratchy chair, legs curled up under me subconsciously avoiding the pending bombshell that was about to come down. I absolutely did not know that I was about to get much more uncomfortable. 

SOUL SEARCHING

I was already in a soul searching head space due to a bizarre bullying situation I was finding myself in, but the news that flashed on the screen hit me hard. The world’s fearless anti-oppression activist that bravely fought to liberate a nation from apartheid, had passed away. I sat with my searching and my unexpected tears thinking, who will carry on his message? Nelson Mandela was gone. 

My mind was racing, from Africa’s loss, to B.C.’s growing racial problems, to the rampant social inequalities that are being reported around the globe. In an effort to appease my mind, I pulled out a white board, a red marker, some cheesies (oh, now I have your attention), and with a fevered urgency I started mind mapping my thoughts. I think I may have gone a little mad, but something was churning inside me like it never had before. After countless hours, and a couple of restless days, my map blurted out this: ACCEPT ME.

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

In a very scary, yet insightful way, I began to realize my map was divulging deeply buried truths regarding my own part in marginalization and discrimination, and it was beyond humbling. I learned more about myself in those two days than any therapist could have ever uncovered. What I began to understand, and now believe, is that acceptance is not just something that happens; it is a lifelong choice that requires one to be consistent and constant in their practice of compassion and empathy.

BREAKING BARRIERS

I realized after exposing my beliefs and truths, that they were guiding me towards something. Like stars, my random thoughts started to take on a powerful, beautiful shape when I started connecting them; and the more connections I made, the clearer and more profound the message became. ACCEPT ME was not just something for me to learn, but for me to share. It was clarity and purpose and honouring Mr. Mandela’s legacy combined. So now, with purposeful fevered urgency, I began to plant the seeds of the Accept Me movement. I designed a logo that depicts a person breaking through the barriers of marginalization, and I steeped my ideas until they concentrated into these four tenets:

ACCEPT ME

WHO I AM

HOW I LOOK

WHOM I LOVE

WHAT I BELIEVE

I then chose the fashion industry to promote my message; branding t shirts, bags and jewelry with Accept Me’s logo. In a world where we attribute supporting something to simply clicking ‘like’ on our screens, I believe that physically wearing your beliefs is a more committed and concrete way of saying “Yes, I support this”.

I hope you feel the same.

Be brave, wear your statement.

Accept Me

Kim

 

Read the story, as featured on Spirituality for Reality

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Nothing Like A Spin Cycle To Create A Shift

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Nothing Like A Spin Cycle To Create A Shift

It always seems to start with clean sheets. But for those of you who don’t know my backstory this will appear as a strange opener. So I will just say this:

Every time I find myself engulfed in a personal crisis, I wash my sheets. Weird I know, but I do.

The Backstory of Bullying

Let’s fast forward to this one specific washing day, this one little cycle if you will. This one freaking earth shattering, down on my knees, come to Jesus spinner.

I got the “snub”. The “piss off”. The “eff” you”. It was executed so sweetly I almost didn’t see it. Pretty mean girls are good at this, covering up their own insecurities with prickly, targeted avoidance. You know the kind that delicately screams you’re not welcome anymore. This quickly becomes the crippling, “you don’t deserve an explanation for our bad behavior" silence. The kind you can never learn from, never take direction from and certainly, (almost) never recover from.

Until now...

The POSITIVE SHIFT

I like to call this Bullying experience My Shift. Bullying is horrid, soul destroying, and a self-esteem raider. It shows up everywhere: in the home, playground, office and establishment. My Shift was holy hell excruciating, but was a hallelujah blessing in disguise. It pushed me into self-discovery, followed by empowerment and in the end renewed my self-worth. Though agonizing at the time, I realized that I was compromising my integrity to desperately belong, where I apparently did not belong at all.

The Healing Process

I’m not going to say this realization happened overnight, and Oprah did not descend from her aha infused billowy cloud (p.s. I actually love Oprah).

That would be a bold lie. I also do not want to trivialize the deeply profound impact Bullying has, or has had on others and on their recovery. For myself, my recovery included a lot of numbing self doubt, couch therapy, introspection.. and wine! And you may ask, “Do I still feel its sting?” Absolutely, though not often. I now know that my Bullying experience had nothing to do with me. Research shows us that many Bullies themselves are in protection mode of their own worth, with fear and uncertainty being the buried motivation behind the behaviour. 

Now, armed with my new understanding, I can feel empathetic towards their personal struggle. I wish for them the strength they need to ask for help, and a Shift so large, that it rocks their worlds straight into a self-accepting beautiful stack of fresh laundry... just as it did for me.

Accept Me

Kim

 

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